I stumbled onto this whole Ayurveda thing and figured, “Why not?” I’ve tried other things. Kombucha phases, celery juice (ugh), and those green smoothies that taste like grass. So maybe balancing my ‘doshas’ could be what finally makes me feel like a non-zombie version of myself. Spoiler: it’s way more complicated than deciding between oat or soy in my latte.
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So, the gist is, everyone has these energies called ‘doshas’—Vata, Pitta, and Kapha. Sounds like something out of Avatar: The Last Airbender, right? Anyway, they’re supposed to be in balance for optimal health. Apparently, you’re supposed to eat according to your dominant dosha and if it’s out of sync, well, just chaotically throw in some spices and veggies. I mean, what’s cooking without a little turmoil, right?
I went to this place that looked like a mash-up of a yoga studio and an herbal shop run by Luna Lovegood, trying to figure out my dosha. Tried to ask this guy with a bun (not the hipster kind, more of a meditative monk deal) about it. After poking and prodding, drinking some weird teas and squatting yoga-like, it turns out I’m predominantly Vata. That means I’m spacey (truth), creative (yea sure), and bloated (also truth, but rude).
Now, get this: for Vata, I should avoid cold foods (farewell, ice cream, my once-in-a-while lover), eat cooked vegetables, and bathe myself in warming spices like ginger and cinnamon. Like, literally submerge myself in chai lattes. Who am I kidding though? Most of those warming spices make my face look like it’s been stung by a bee (thanks for the conditions, life). The rule of thumb is pretty simple: follow strict seasonal food guidelines and accept a life of eternal kitchen experiments.
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I’ve dabbed a bit in yoga too, and honestly, I mastered the whole being-a-corpse pose after diving deep into the abyss of DIY Ayurvedic meals. My stomach occasionally reminds me that perhaps this dosha-balancing thing is less of an instant magic fix and more of a slow burn. Like, “I’m sure we’ll get there eventually”. But the detox feels necessary and I have to say, bonding with fellow health nuts over experiences beyond the treadmill is strangely comforting.
Finally, found a yoga class guide that helps with digestion which is kind of necessary after wildly mixing chickpeas and spices that never knew they’d meet. Plus, there’s something oddly cool about telling people that you’re into Ayurveda—as if you’re in a secret wellness club. At least until they see the turmeric smeared across my countertop. Sigh. My eyes still hurt. I need coffee. Ugh.