So, Zone 2 cardio is apparently the new holy grail. Except it just means running or cycling at the speed of molasses while staring at your heart rate monitor as if it’s going to magically make you live forever. I mean, come on, how is this fun? Slow jogging endlessly just to chase after some mythical mitochondrial efficiency. Sure, getting those mitochondria in tip-top shape supposedly turbocharges all other fitness, but try explaining that to someone who’s about to fall asleep on a treadmill.
And Peter Attia – oh because he says it’s good, now everyone’s suddenly a born-again long-distance endurance fanatic. It’s like folks who used to grunt-lift at the gym are now switching their barbells for painfully slow marathons. Why? Because longevity. Because it builds your engine or something. But is it worth the countless hours of barely breaking a sweat so you can one day claim you’re the master of slow motion?
It’s funny seeing guys who once scoffed at aerobics classes now religiously hopping onto bikes and running trails… but only if they can keep their pulse at the perfect magic slow rate. Whatever happened to training for actual speed or strength, you know? How about doing something that’s less likely to put your mind into a coma? Maybe these Zone 2 enthusiasts should venture outside and encounter this real world they’re supposedly investing extra life into. I’m done.