Does anyone actually believe squinting and puffing your cheeks will make you look like an eternally youthful movie star? Face yoga, they call it. I call it facial contortion class for the delusional. The idea that making weird expressions while not serving as a circus performer will somehow smooth out life’s wrinkles is beyond me. Who’s got the time to stand in front of a mirror making googly faces to postpone Botox? Next, they’ll be selling a course on eyebrow vibrations to “awaken your higher self.” Seriously! Check out this madness here.
As if daily life isn’t already a mess, add face yoga to your list of things to do while stuck in traffic or waiting for your coffee. Then there’s the whole pro-aging concept. Right. Let’s just embrace every laugh line as we squish our nostrils, hoping it transforms us into Mona Lisa. Goosebumps just thinking about all those instructional videos with instructors going ‘now blow up your cheeks like a balloon.’ Let me tell you, I think my version of holistic beauty involves less ridiculousness.
Imagine having to explain to someone why you’re furiously snorting in front of the bathroom mirror. ‘Oh, just doing some face yoga, you know?’ Yep, that’ll convince everyone that you’re not losing it. Maybe I’ll try it when pigs fly or when goats start doing yoga. Oh wait.