So, neck training. Seriously? Are we at that point now where we can’t just exist without turning every body part into some kind of project? Why on earth do folks think thicker necks are the secret sauce to strength or masculinity anyway? I get it, you don’t want your head falling off during a sneeze, but c’mon, it’s not like your local gym is demanding neck press competitions. What’s next, earlobe workouts?
You ever notice how gyms are filled with all these machines for every nook and cranny of your body? And now, here comes the mighty neck harness, ready to help you achieve that ‘powerful gorilla look’ everyone definitely wants. Have you seen those things? They look like medieval torture devices someone misplaced in the free weights section. And apparently, doing this supposedly reduces concussion risks—because we’re all preparing for life as concussed combat athletes. Makes complete sense.
But hey, if obsessing about your neck width is your jam, I can’t stop you. Maybe you’re secretly planning to join a secret society of neck enthusiasts. That’s probably where you’d also find tips on how to convincingly hide your lack of functional grip strength or bulletproof knees. But whatever. Keep pumping iron with your neck and let me know when the wrists program drops, because apparently no body part should be left behind.