Jump ropes. Those annoying pieces of string that promise high calorie burn but really give you nothing but tangled ankles and self-loathing. Who thought it was a good idea to make people flail around like malfunctioning robots while trying to avoid tripping on overpriced plastic cord?
Honestly, the only coordination you’re improving is your ability to apologize to bystanders for nearly whipping them in the face. And the calorie burn? Sure, if you’re some kind of box-jumping kangaroo hybrid, maybe you’ll hit those numbers, but for normal clumsy humans, it’s just a fancy way to stub your toes repeatedly. It’s supposed to be cheap and portable? Yeah, because all it costs you is your dignity and the price of calling a chiropractor after pretending you’re Rocky Balboa. Not everyone’s into jumping over ropes.
Just keep your feet on the ground. Try walking or literally any other exercise that doesn’t involve looking like you’re having a seizure while standing up. Whatever.

